major major major major

by joseph heller

 

"From now on," he said, "I don't want anyone to come in to see me

while I'm here.  Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," said Sergeant Towser.  "Does that include me?"

"Yes."

"I see.  Will that be all."

"Yes."

"What shall I say to the people who do come to see you while

you're here?"

"Tell them I'm in and ask them to wait."

"Yes, sir.  For how long?"

"Until I've left."

"And then what shall I do with them?"

"I don't care."

"May I send them in to see you after you've left?"

"Yes."

"But you won't be here then, will you?"

"No."

"Yes, sir.  Will that be all?"

"Yes."

"Yes, sir."    

"From now on," Major Major said to the middle-aged enlisted man

who took care of his trailer, "I don't want you to come here while I'm

here to ask me if there's anything you can do for me.  It that clear?"

"Yes, sir," said the orderly.  "When should I come here to find

out if there's anything you want me to do for you?"

"When I'm not here."

"Yes, sir.  And what should I do?"

"Whatever I tell you to."

"But you won't be here to tell me.  Will you?"

"No."

"Then what should I do?"

"Whatever has to be done."

"Yes, sir"

"That will be all," said Major Major.

 
 

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